I hate university election time.

It’s that time again. The time when you turn your eyes to the ground and try to walk along as inconspicuously as possible. You try to find shelter in the UQ Union area, but everywhere you turn you are accosted by those annoying individuals who have given up their souls in exchange for blue or yellow shirts that yell societal conformity.

It’s time to vote.

It all started today, and we unfortunate University of Queensland students have to endure another two weeks of incessant campaigning about stuff we really couldn’t care less about: Who gets to run the UQ Student Union in 2014. But come on, the campaigners have to realise that the only reason that half of us will vote will be to get the free food vouchers. We care about that! But first, we have to wait out two weeks before the big vote. The decider. The one day where you make a decision THAT WILL EFFECT YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. Lol jokes. It’s just a vote about who’s going to run UQ Union.

Today, a friend asked me to meet her in front of the Lolly Shop. It’s basically the typical place to meet on campus, right? So I, in my innocent and forgetful state, stupidly agreed to meet at the UQ Union area. I dragged myself out of bed (because why would I bother getting up when I don’t have university on a Monday?!) I tried to mask the fact that I hadn’t washed my hair in a couple of days by wearing a hat. I put my sunglasses on even though it was cloudy and I packed an umbrella. I was ready.

And then, just as I arrived at the university…it hit me. I saw the blue shirts first, sporting the name REFORM in capital letters. I managed to make it to within 50 metres of the Lolly Shop, and then it happened all at once. Swarms of Fresh supporters in yellow shirts ran up to me, waving flyers and telling me that they would bring Max Brenners to campus if once again elected. The Blue shirts tried to drown them out by telling me that they’d give me free breakfast for 8am classes.

And then there were the socialists, yelling ‘FUCK Fresh! We want a democratic Student Union.’ People were dancing and blasting music and overall, the experience was really just too overwhelming for a Monday. I didn’t need fifty people from each party telling me why they were better, stronger, faster, or fitter. It’s just a university election. You’re not running the country; you’re running an educational institution. It’s not survival of the fittest in the campaign world. You’re turning it into a competition between UQ students to see who can avoid the campaigners for the longest period of time.

Obviously I lost. Maybe I’ll just skip university for the next two weeks until the elections finish. It’s just way too much pressure for week 2.